The Outlaws

Yesterday was the long anticipated meeting of the families.  After Dad's spooky impression of Robert Deniro in Meet the Parents I was praying this wasn't going to be a disaster riddled, blundering, cringe inducing sequel as our two worlds colided and the people we love most in the world meet for the first time...

Actually I really feel for our poor parents, they were just presented with a couple they've never met before and are told that they'll be familly for life.  They get no choice, no say, no pressure-less time to build their own friendships, they're just thrown into the thick of things and expected to get along.

To my great relief it all went swimmingly!  A gorgeous meal and a couple of glasses of wine and Dad was letting the Hardings into all our embarrassing secrets and his and Mum's secret druggy past (hehe).  It's funny how easilly I forget that my parents are people with great social skills who can make friends and interact with people without me trying to help them.  They did great and Dad only required one covert throat cutting action to divert his dubious train of conversation.

In fact everything's going great, we've now got a date and booked the church (the 4th November! Get it in your diaries!) and I felt very calm until I read the below email...  It's from my Father to my Fiance... Oh dear...

Dear Mr Harding
This is an automated reply service for Simon and Bernie trundle.  The Trundles can no longer afford electricity or a computer and have therefore fallen upon the charitable wing of the FSEFTDW Society. 

We are a charity formed to support those who have fallen on hard times and our aim is to help Families Sacrificing Everything For Their Daughter's Wedding.  Many of the people who come to us are in a very poor and disheveled state often with the father of the family muttering uncontrollably about "money - dresses - no more toys - ebay - selling other children - living in a cardboard box".  It is deeply upsetting to see the impact that FSEFTDW can bring about in a previously stable family. 

We recommend that when contacting a family suffering from FSEFTDW that you speak in a slow and low voice and never mention money.
With best wishes to you and your new expensive wife to be.
Ebenezer Scrooge
Director
FSEFTDW

Comments

[sheena]

that's beautiful!

[Does this mean im a grown up now?]

I wish to make a donation to your fathers worthy charity, although I would have thought taking you off his hands would have been worth something though.

In response, I am setting up the 'Fund for keeping Carla in the manner to which she is accustomed'. I hear the Swiss do appropriate bank accounts.

I do hope they still so the complimentary sports bag and pencil-case.

[Planning for the future]

Please inform your dad that I am taking notes on his management of the situation for future use in my own parenting endeavours.

Advice on how to acquire a handgun in Europe would be obliged. It would also be useful to know if there are any advantages to becoming a member of the FSEFTDW at an early age. Is there a waiting list and does your father have Mr. Scrooge's contact details?

Many thanks!

[Huney]

I am suddenly so glad I have a son and not a daughter!!

Tx

[still looking out for number one.]

dear does this mean your growing up now?

Just remember your tools, I shall be keeping a close I eye on you making sure you enough boy time and toys to keep you going. Lets do lunch soon.

and to Ebenezer Scrooge, Director, FSEFTDW
theres loads of nice cameras on the market and who knows I might be able to find the odd old one as well. believe R S have some nice shinning things for sell as well.

And to planning for the future get them while you can have you checked out the mac book pro its looking very tasty.

[still looking out for number one.]

Sorry tools was meant to be Toys.