Amazed & Confused

Moments captured in the aperture of the mind

Today I opened a new journal... I'd set aside the practice last summer but it's been calling to me so I return to it again.  There's a lot happening right now.  Lots on my mind.  Good things, great things, things to make decisions about.  I don't want to lose the big picture so have turned to marking pages with streams of conscious to capture every aspect of what lies ahead.  It gave me peace...

Often I marvel at where God/life/choices have taken me.  As I emailed a 24-7 Prayer Room in the Dominican Republic I stopped to wonder how on earth we became connected.  Where did they find out about 24-7 Prayer?  What made them pray?  This movement never stops moving :)

The photo above was a beautiful moment in a rather hectic week.  Chris (the camera man), Scot (taking the photo) and I found ourselves on West Witterings beach at sunset.  We were filming an episode of the 24-7 Spaces podcast for this lent.  The bleak vista and an amazing passage from John combined to make the moment beautiful.  How did I end up there?  How come I get to do this?  I am so grateful.

If I don't capture these moments in the aperture of my mind they would pass by with little appreciation of their worth.  Journalling, blogging, conversing - they make me grateful.  Looking back, around and ahead I know that there's much that's happened I need to remember and much yet to be done that I must consider.  

Here's to today, a fresh page and a poised pen...

New Dawn: It's prayer Jim, but not as we know it...

From the 28th - 29th January (just a few weekends time) Theresa Stone, Emma Nicholson and I are going to eat, sleep and pray on a big beautiful boat with a whole bunch of other people :)  Why?  Well the CYE sailing centre have invited our little 24-7 Prayer team to come and lead a group of people through a weekend on prayer.  Theresa and I worked on our sessions this morning and got rather excited by all the dreams and schemes we have planned.

It's going to be a cornacopia of teaching, experience, space and creativity. I can't wait.

If you're in the UK and fancy join in I think there are still some spaces left.  If you want a chance to look at deepening your conversation with God by looking at who we are, how your personality affects your prayer life, trying prayer in ancient and modern ways and getting some inspiration and encouragement, then come and join us. More info here.

Look Mum I'm in a music video... sort of...

24-7 Prayer peep by day, covers band signer by night; it may be cheesy and but I love it. Since 2007 Steve and I have gotten together with Nathan, Steve C, Jimmy E and a few lovely extras to have some fun and be a part of making people's celebrations rock a little harder.  The DeLoreans, as our band is called, has been growing over the years and 2012 seems to be no exception.  The summer is looking rather full already (gulp!)

As we don't play many public gigs we decided it was high time we put a little promo video together.  The talented and lovely Tom Deane joined us for a (long) day at the Revs Venue before Christmas and the result is above.  What do you think?

I foolishly thought that making a music /promo video would be a glamorous affair.  How wrong could I be.  To make the above 3 minutes and 35 seconds of footage in this video we spent 10 hours playing the same songs and busting out the same moves over and over again. By the end I couldn't remember my name let alone the words to Crazy in Love!  Hehe - it was a blast though and I think the result was well worth the exertion! 

Youtube is made to haunt you with 16yr old versions of yourself...

via www.youtube.com

I had hoped that the featured video above was lost forever in dusty libraries along with cassette tapes and tydy shirts, but YouTube has once again proved that if anyone, anywhere caught you on camera it may one day come back to haunt you. This afternoon my Brother in law emailed me with one simple, fear inducing question... is that you?

Above is a video of Delirious performing on Littlehampton beach in 1997, (it's worth a watch for the fashion alone) but at 1.21 and 1.41, I groaned at seeing my younger self looking way to keen during the Happy Song. When this programme was aired on telly I was embarrassed enough but here it is in all it's glory to tease me 14 years later.

Why don't I have a fringe? Why was I do enthusiastic? Who said chokers were a good idea?! Oh well, at least watching this about once a week will keep me humble... If I ever get to big for my boots just a few bars of the Happy Song should put my right back in my place.

End of the world as we know it?

"As 2012 dawns many are speculating about what the next 12 months will bring. Some look ahead with hope, others with fear, as this year seems to be one of the most anticipated and discussed since the turn of the millennium. So what’s ahead of us: more financial turmoil, political change, spiritual transformation, the end of the world, or something else? Should we all stock up on tinned goods and start digging shelters, or could there be signs of hope and faith: God’s Kingdom on the move..."

This is the opening paragraph of a little article I've been musing on this week.  I wrote for the 24-7 Prayer tribes and if you're interested you can read on here.

Monster Mash

The inaugural gathering of the latest incarnation of Film Club could not have gotten off to a better start.  In my enthusiasm I tweeted that Ellie, Paul, Steve and I had gathered to watch 'Mobsters' (a rather dated looking gangster flick).  Thankfully we actually took in the splendour and subtly of 'Monsters', and what a masterpiece it was.  

We went into the film knowing as little as we could (well apart from me - I'd seen it before) and took in what is sure to be one of the most unique science fiction dramas in a very long time.  Monsters follows the emotional and physical journey of two unlikely companions as they make there way through dangerous, alien-infected territory.  Beyond that I will say nothing about the plot.  It's such an interesting idea that it's best to just take it as it comes.  Remove as many preconceived ideas about what a film with Aliens should be like, in fact approach it like a travel film and you'll probably be more ready for what it has to offer.  

As the film ended we immediately hit play to re-watch the beginning and piece the plot together.  Once we'd oo'd, aaa'd and decided what we wanted the end to be, we watched the 'making of...' and were blown away all over again.

Did you know that each new Star Wars film is rumoured to have cost $100 million?  Well, this ambitious little British film was produced for the unconfirmed amount of $15000!  What is George Lucas spending his money on?!  Solid gold portaloos?! Monsters is an exquisite film shot gorilla style with a small but very talented British crew and a cast that throws professional leads with non-actors.  The whole spend of the film (marketing, etc.) is reported to be less than half a million dollars, yet it is one of the most creative, magical and resourceful cinema offerings to come from our great nation.   Proof positive that money does not a good film make.  

Anyone else seen Monsters?  What did you think? 

Films to see before you die

From a young age I've been enthralled by the glamour, magic and adventure of the silver screen.  Weeks, maybe months of my life have been spent watching, analysing and day dreaming about films and the world they open up to us.  Provoking dramas, heart warming romances, side splitting comedies, nail biting thrillers, other worldly fantasies, mind bending SciFis, nightmare inducing Zombie flicks and edge of your seat action; I love them all.  I even have a penchant for a really bad / good movie.  You know the kind; they have horrendous scripts, preposterous plots but there's delight in their on screen disaster.

A passion for film is something I am very grateful that Steve enjoys too.  Before we were married we made the strategic purchase of a Cineworld Card so that we could pay an amount every month and be able to go on movie dates even if we ran out of money waiting for the next pay slip to arrive.  Our little plastic cinema IDs have been put to good use as we've taken in dozens of films a year.  We've been more open to taking risks as the only limit to the number we see is the time we have.  New Actors, Directors and Screenwriters have become must see contributors and though, I'll be honest, we've seen a lot of rubbish, our passion for film remains.

Tonight Steve and I embark on a new chapter in our film following... a little informal film club. We have many friends who share our passion and a few of us have decided to stop reminiscing about film club of yester-year and planning a future one and to just get on and do it.  The idea is we'll take one Monday night a month and watch one film together we can enjoy and maybe chat about.  The big question is... how do we go about picking them!

We don't want to go too heavy every time we gather but I'd love to broaden my film pallet and maybe see some of those must see titles.  Today I started googling "Films to see before you die" and some interesting links showed up.  Most of them referenced this offering of 50 must sees by film critics and the good people at Film4.  (The list is presented a little easier to scan through by the BBC here.)  There were other lists online but this was the one to grab my attention.

Of the 50 recommended I have seen only 18.  There were some that surprised me (Erin Brockovich?  Good but top 50!?) and others that made me smile (Terminator 2 - classic!)  It made me start to wonder if I were compiling a list from my limited viewing thus far what would I include?  Missing from this list and definitely included on mine are:  the original Star Wars Trilogy, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (I'm assuming they were missed off because they weren't one film), Amelie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind, The original Superman movie and recent films like Children of Men, Super 8 and Iron Man (it's an excellent example from the recent Marvel cannon).  There are others not on this list that I have yet to see and am surprised aren't included: Seven Samurai, Casablanca, Gone with the Wind etc. but this list has definitely got me started with film club suggestions.

What do you think?  

What are the films you feel you should have seen but haven't?  

Which films would you beg others to see before they die? Answers in comments please!

Post-it Notes of hope

Last night, I slept badly. I tossed and turned, mind half awake and waiting for my alarm to sound. It was deeply frustrating. I was wakeful because I was worried. There's a lot ahead of me this weekend, not bad things just stuff that needs juggling. Each challenge felt like another ball I must keep in the air and I was mentally limbering up for today's throwing and catching.

After a bracing pre-dawn walk, the door of the 24-7 Prayer Room closed behind a friend and I found myself alone with God.  After a poor night of rest I was up early and here was my opportunity to splurge my head noise in prayer. I kneeled down to pray the entering liturgy we've written for the week and started to hand God everything in my head. One line in particular jumped out at me:

"In this hour I will give myself to the work of prayer, this is about God's concerns not mine."

It pulled me up short, I could easily fill the hour with worries and pleas (and this wouldn't necessarily be wrong), but what if God had other ideas? I walked around the room looking for how the space had changed since my last visit - it's one of my favourite things about these sacred spaces. I love seeing the prayer room fill with prayers , dreams, ideas, art work and catch a glimpse of what God's up to in our community. Each day it's different, each day another 24(ish) people have taken an hour out of life to see what happens when they say 'hi' to Jesus.  

As I reach the Wailing Wall / Wailing Cargo Net I spotted a prayer I had written just yesterday. I'd scribbled it in tears and it represent the thing I've wrestled most with in the last year. On top of my little yellow plea was a green post-it note. On that green post it note someone had written a few simple words, an echoing prayer. It did my heart the world of good to see that someone else cared enough to spend part of their hour praying for me. That was it - all my plans were out the window. The next hour wouldn't be about my stress, my concerns; the next hour would be about the other prayers pinned to this slightly musty smelling net.

I worked my way along the wall reading the anonymous prayers of others and the little Green post-it notes of encouragement stuck to them. As I began to add my amen to those who'd gone before me I felt the stress I'd been carrying start to ebb away. I was moved by the single word pleas, the three different posts about struggling with cancer and the beautiful heartfelt prayers of love and hope.

To end my hour I posted a prayer on blue paper for assistance with my day. By the time I finally wrote my prayer I felt entirely different about it. I placed it among dozens of others and knew I was leaving my life in good hands. As the next person knocked on the door, my fatigue and the day ahead seemed demoted in my awareness and gratitude had taken it's place. Prayer Rooms are good for me :)

(Written Friday, posted Saturday)

Sticky people: why I would find it hard to leave

I never thought I could have friends like these. Last night I sat around a table eating burgers with five great friends celebrating the birthday one in particular. Beautiful Helen Monkton embarked on another year yesterday, and marked the occasion with meat, chips and massive ice cream sundays! An excellent choice. As we laughed, joked, questioned and regaled each other with stories of yester year, I realised that I have known each of them for over a decade.

A decade… wow… time flies.

It doesn't seem like twelve and a half years since I moved down from the midlands to this gorgeous city. I have albums full of photos of hanging out with these same friends, just ten years younger (and with *cough* interesting haircuts). As i shared my reflection we began to get nostalgic about the many adventures and dreams we've shared together. The girls present (Charlotte, Ellie, Helen and I) realised our friendships really got going during the first season of 24-7 Prayer and mission on the island of Ibiza. The prayer room, the 24-7 movement and community we used to call Warehouse has shaped us all, brought us together, deepened our bond. We've shared many laughs, tears, lessons learned and lots in between. I even ended up marrying one of them (er... not Helen, Ellie or Lottie but one of the blokey sundea eaters below.)

This is what makes Chichester a difficult place to leave. I don't have any plans to right now, but when I think about the possibility it isn't just a beauty of the city, the coast or downs that make me reluctant; it's the people. We share life, not as a sentimental statement, but in daily truth. These are the people I'm stuck too.  I hope we remain stuck together even if life takes us further apart.

The DeLoreans get a face lift

via www.thedeloreansband.com

The lovely Mr Elliot, famed for his furious fingers (er... he plays guitar) has been working his magic on the DeLoreans website. The facelift / spruce up / funkifying affect is quite pleasing. Bravo young man, bravo. My favourite aditions include the juke box of our repertoire, the TV that plays videos of us and the testimonials laid out like a Back to the Future style newspaper. Nice.

In other DeLoreans related news (said in my best Veronica Corningstone voice), I saw the first cut of our recently shot promo vid. After I got over my initial yuck-I-don't-like-seeing-myself-on-film reaction I quite liked it! I never thought our musical experiment to have fun and hang out together would still be going strong six years later. The secret's in the dedication to Sausage Club/Fest.  Hurrah for the DeLoreans and here's to more Weddings, parties, bah-mitzvahs etc. in 2012.  

Lazy days, winter walks & sleep deprivation

Christmas was bliss.  Two weeks of family, friends, good food, short walks, gifts given and received, lazy days with my man and the launch of particularly exciting sleep deprivation project (aka a 24-7 Prayer Room).  It couldn't have been better.  This morning as I cleared my inbox I found this photo sent from my sister in law Sarah of myself, Steve's Nana and my other lovely sister in law Emma on a Christmas day walk.  I am so blessed to have such a lovely family to compliment the Trundle tribe.

Today I launch back into my regular rhythm of 6.30am alarms and chilly commutes.  Despite pulling the 2-3am prayer room shift I actually feel refreshed and ready for work.  In the coming week I'll post about my thoughts on 2011 (events, travels, books, words that have stayed with me) but today I'm feeling the 'new' in New Year.  The Revs prayer space has been the perfect way to begin; a reawakening of my heart and mind as I step back into the rush of emails, meetings and dreaming for 2012.

An Unassuming Sacred Space

There are sacred spaces in this world, some are marked with signs and heralds, others with great art and paths well trod by pilgrims, but there are many that can be passed by unnoticed; unnassuming places that have nothing visible to point to the encounters that have happened there.  The conference room in the Revelation Church Warehouse is one such sacred space.  

Teenagers gather in it, businesses and groups meet there, performers have used it as a green room and club nights as an entrance.  I wonder if anyone of them knew that the carpet tiles they were standing on are holy ground?  

It was in this rather boring looking room that I learned how to pray.  There were words, thoughts, movements, paintings, tears, music and many other expressions involved in my search for a language...  but this was the space in which my 18 year old heart learned to connect to God's.  In a smelly, beautiful, messy and glorious place later named a 24-7 Prayer Room. My life's direction has been set by my solitary lessons in God's love and conversation over a few short months in 1999.  Now I pour myself into helping others do the same.  

Today as I stood in that conference room, surrounded by my Revs family, tears slid down my cheeks and my heart was moved.  We gathered to welcome 2012, a new day a New Year with the launch of our first 24-7 Prayer Room in a few years.  As I worshipped I realised that if I'd had some stones to hand, I'd have been piling them there.  This room is my Gilgal.  The place God brought me, a watershed between one part of my life and the next.  Today I remembered the time I had spent there, the prayers God had responded to and the way we were changed.  As I remembered I longed.  Revelation is striding into a new adventure; we're looking forward.  We don't want the glory days gone by, we want the presence of God and His mission for us now.  This sacred space is a key.  

I have numerous hours alone and with Cymbrogi set aside in this room in the week ahead.  Lord I'm coming to meet with you.  Could this be a new watershed for me, for all of us?  Speak Lord, your servants are listening...

Don't know what 24-7 Prayer is?  Check out the website and this nifty little vid below...