Amazed & Confused

A Righteous Heart

Not Easter Sunday but the Sunday before Phil Harper gave one of the best talks I've heard in my eight and a bit years of being part of the Revelation community. It was good because he is a gifted communicator, it was good because it was true and it was good because it feels like every time I talk about God in the last week and a half the Holy Spirit keeps bringing back different things he said to challenge or encourage me. I've been dieing to share it with you and thought something fishy was going on as the recording went walk about but now it's online and ready to give away. If you fancy listening to something nourishing today then can I recommend this... Download 01_the_parable_of_the_pharisee_and_the_tax_collector.mp3

Good Friday

As far as Easter goes, good Friday has never featured highest on my radar. Ever the eternal optimist I've always been caught up in the miracle of hope of Easter Sunday until I saw the Passion of the Christ and read Pete's excellent book God on Mute and the agonising victory of good Friday seemed higher in my mind...

Grace and Peace

I have just heard one of the most engagingly presented, challenging and informative talks I've heard in a long old while. For about a month now I've been downloading the Podcast from Mars Hill Bible Church where Rob Bell has been expounding on the book of Phillipians. I'm not gonna say much other than if you can find half an hour, Download mars_hill_what_has_happened_to_me_rob_bell_audio.mp3 and it will give you a lot of food for thought... xc

A Foolish Calling

I was flicking through the various blogs I visit on a regular basis last week hunting for stories for the 24-7 website when I came across this one by Lisa Borden. As I read it I was reminded of a conversation I’d had with God last weekend. I've always found the concept of calling a tricky/intimidating one. I’ve dreaded the question because I’ve felt a pressure to say something impressive when the honest answer has often been, “Er… I don’t know… *embarrassed silence*”

Disturb me oh Lord...

Church was fantastic on Saturday! The creative team, the worship group and the speaker (Margaret Ellis - always a legend) worked together in incredible harmony to explore the theme of passion. The worship flowed into a beautiful piece of original music and dance, into the talk, into some images on the screens, back to the talk, back into dance film. It was so eloquent and moving. Quite an impacting exploration of passion, where it comes from and where we're focusing it on...

Fasting and Feasting

I just read Lisa Borden's fantastic article on the 24-7 website about fasting. I share her reluctance at fasting food and though I've tried to incorporate it more into life this year I still struggle with food fasts. Her words reminded me of reading Richard Foster's chapter on fasting in the Celebration of Discipline, his understanding and perspective on why we fast totally blew my mind...

Not my will...

Last night Steve, Helen and I were chatting about unanswered prayer and the silence of God. Together we’re working through Pete’s book God on Mute and asking the difficult questions about prayer and what the Bible says. I have to confess at times I feel very frustrated, I would love to see God move through healing, but healings seem to be rare…

Slavery

This morning Stephen and I reached Romans 6 in our morning reading. Romans is always a great noodle stretcher but I find this section "You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness" v18 particularly weird to grasp...

Revelation.org.uk

Hurrah! The Revelation website is finally online and it's shiny oooooo. If you wanna take a peak at what's happening and what God's doing at the Church that birthed 24-7 Prayer then click here. I recommend downloading Roger's talk from Sunday. It was a good'un. We're having a time of simultaneously enjoying the presence of the Holy Spirit and focusing on the wider world... loving God's work xc

Faith and Expectation

When God wants to speak to me about something He often does in the form of food for though. The last few weeks/months I've been musing on my level of faith and expectation for God to move. I have faith in God, I'm grasping more of who He is every day but I think I've gotten so used to reasons why He might not answer my prayer or show the world His awesome power that I've stopped expecting to see things happen...

The thing I hate the most

I've been reading wise man Foster's chapter on the Prayer of Examen and mulling it over on my various journies around the south of England this week. The idea of looking inward to examine where God was in the events of my day and my conscience through each triumph and test is not a new one to me. I think growing up in a nominally Catholic culture gave me (thankfully) a positive selfawareness and desire to reflect and refine...

Wait a while

I've been thinking recently that we are a society that values a Jack of all trades, master of none. To be master takes a lot of time and commitment, why not just be fairly good at a few things? I've been thinking I would quite like to be really good at something, just one thing, I think I'd like to pursue excellence and I think I'm going to do it with my singing voice...

Potential

Had a great weekend, feel really chilled today (useful as I'm preparing RACI charts for all things 24-7 online... grrr need more brain power). I pottered in the garden enjoying the glorious sunshine on Saturday and worked hard with the lovely Charlottie-to-Hottie for our talk to Warehouse (the youth and student congregation of Revelation Church) on Sunday. Lottie rocked! Soon she'll be flying solo on the speaking front...

The Sticky Gospel

“What do you see God doing around the World?” I asked leaning eagerly over my Coke in a cosy little pub in Guildford yesterday. My question was addressed to the lovely Martin Scott who responded, unexpectedly, with a question of his own “Do you actually believe in the transforming power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ?”

Take aim, be prepared, start now

I'm becoming a little dependant on audio books. I've listened to the Harry Potter series about four times now as I clean the Armstrongs house or walk to and from work. I find it soothing to listen to a story as I walk, I find my self growing quickly tired of the music I own at the minute. After a swift investigation into the price of audiobooks (choke!) I've decided that pod casts might be a more realistic alternative...

An eternity in the making...

In a brave attempt to make Christmas more about celebrating our Saviour, Steve and I have abandoned the overly familiar nativity story in favour of going through the prophecies about Jesus birth in the Old Testement. There are so many, and there's nothing like a messianic prophecy to blow your groggy brain of a morning...

What are you committed to?

Tomorrow I'm trecking up the M25 to join the East2West Staff day in Staines (iiiieeee!). The theme of the day is commitment and as I'm leading it through the topic has been tickling my grey matter for the last few weeks. I have come to a thought: instant gratification is cancer to commitment. If we're focused on feeling good now, how can we make sacrifices for the ultimate rightness and happiness of the future...

God Almighty

Lottie and I ashamadly realised that we are already 20days behind on our 9 month Bible reading plan and it's only one month in today. I feel really embarrassed seeing as I'm the person who convinced dozens of my fellow church goers to join me! Never fear though, we have a plan and we should be up to date in 10 days...

Comatosed

Last night was the first night in a long time that I slept completely through. Nothing short of my Napoleon Dynamite alarm was going to wake me. It was absolutely blissful, I forgot how good uninterrupted sleep felt. I spent all of yesterday evening in my new room doing a Bible study on the word and my first draft of my talk on God's story for this Sunday's meeting. I feel a lot more rooted for the time of solitude and something meaty to sink my teeth into...

Scratching it out

As I sat, propped up by cushions, against my faux iron headboard last night, I realised that hadn’t journalled with much depth in a surprisingly long time. There were a few guilty entries, you know the kind of prayers you pray when you’re feeling desperate and out of your depth, but no musings or the self-examination that hallmarked previous scrawlings…

The Good times just keep on rolling

For the past week I am convinced that God has been showing off.  Don't get me wrong, if anyone can show off it's the infinite, omnipotent creator of the Universe, but after six months of subtlety He's pulling out the big guns...

I am

“I tell you the truth”, Jesus said, “Before Abraham was born I am.” As I read that sentence, sitting cross-legged on my yellow duvet, shock waves of revelation overwhelmed me. In that one moment it was like the whole story of God opened before me like a tunnel through time with the vein of this verse running from the furthest point right through to burst into the foreground…

A blood transfusion with Jesus

This morning was like an intense download of Jesus words. The last few weeks Charlotte and I have fallen behind on our Transit Bible reading. Through the two hour journey to Reading in Charlotte’s faithful Rover, I read aloud from the gospels of Luke, Mark and Matthew. The words of Jesus in an intensive blast…

Passion

The last two days have been pretty intense. I'm sitting on the mezzanaine in the Reading Boiler Room snatching a shell-shocked half hour of silence. It's one of those times when you don't want to say anything, there are no words to fit this place...

Feeding the dog

Picture the scene; three men hold a beaten up old dude who's glaring at the leader of their pack, a witch Doctor he's been hunting. The doctor sniffs, then opens his mouth to challenge his captive...

"There are two dogs fighting within you, one is good, one is evil. Which one will win?"

The bedraggled man lifts his head and meets his eye and with a mixture of resignation and determination replies...

"Which ever one I feed."

Something Obvious

The last few days I've felt that twinge of intuition, thought, peace, reaccuring musing that usually meens God's trying to tell me something. It really began two weeks ago when I realised that my expectations of what God could do were very low. I've gotten so used to making excuses when he doesn't move that my faith has truly shrunk to the size of a mustard seed. Though I know that's enough to move a mountain I haven't really been aiming and firing lately...

Brain Fry...

Today I have that slightly exhausted brain feeling you can only attain from a day of intense teaching and a mind blowing time of prayer. Yesterday Martin Scott came to speak to Transit about Covenant, Spiritual Christianity and the prophetic...

Fear and trembling...

The last six months I've gotten increasingly slack on my Bible study, journaling and prayer. I've gone from nearly every day to once or twice a week. As I read through my journal last night I realised that I may be writing less often but what I'm thinking about has shifted slightly. Strange statement; I think I'm thinking more...

Tom meet God...

Yesterday was fantastic.  Great friends, new lives and an amazing hour in the Prayer Room.  For the first time in weeks I woke refreshed from sleep and excited about my day.  I decided to play office worker and went for a smart beige slacks, shirt and cashmere jumper combo and strolled through Chichester with a sense of a new chapter starting...

Cell-ebrate

My cell has been a bit of a slog recently. I am not the worlds greatest cell leader and constantly feel bad that I don't have more time to invest into it. We've been going through the slow fade many cells experience with often only three of us getting together. I've been really dissheartened and to be honest was considering chucking it all in until last night...

Help me write my talk

I'm speaking in Revs (my church here in Chi) the Sunday after next and I am rather nervous. I've travelled to four different countries to speak for 24-7 but never have I stood up in my own community and talked about the bible. I am more nervous about this than any talk I've ever done. The opinion of my community means a lot to me, if I screw up here I don't get to take my notes and run, safe in the knowlege I may never see them again...

Getting out of the way…

When I came on this retreat I found myself praying again and again, “Lord, I don’t want to get in the way of anything you’re doing.” Last night I took some time to tell my story and everything God’s done for me, it went well I think. Honesty generally goes down well…

Prayer

There is no doubt in my mind that God has a great sense of humour. My Mum is someone I respect very much, I love her and the way she loves God. As a teenager I would come downstairs in the morning to Mum's open Bible and grin/cringe in the evenings at the sound of her prayer meetings in the Barn. My Mum is really good at time with God. I pretty much suck and have to work hard at it, yet I am the one part of an international prayer and mission movement. Go figure...

Highway to Heaven

I'm writing this sitting in Charlotte's car on the M6, somewhere south of Manchester. It's too foggy to see exactly where and the north is cold and wet. We're on our way back from Easter People to my parents for the evening and we're pleasantly tired from our spiritual and physical adventures...

One Hundred and One hours

Last night was a great night.  Steve surprised me with tickets and backstage passes to a Daniel Bedingfield gig so we felt very rock and roll making our way to London on a Sunday night.  As we emerged into the auditorium of the Hammersmith Apollo the first few chords of One Hundred Hours first song had just been struck and hundreds of people were staring with curiosity as the charismatic Tre began growling out songs of worship to Jesus...

Pray for Andrea!

Hey Guys, big ask... please pray for my beautiful friend Andrea. She's a lovely lady and she's in the hospital right now with mysterious memory loss. I'm sick of people who give there lives to God being sick, please pray for her and Markus. Jonah and Markus have written a report for the 24-7 Supporters site to help you pray, I've copied it here...

Kingdom Come

Yesterday felt like the way life should be.  Not totally rosey and unrealistic, but a day focused on the reality of God among some really hard stuff...

Love

"Love never gives up...

Something stirring...

Something's been stirring in me for the last few months; growing in intensity, clarifying and expanding.  I've felt really challenged and moved about my friendships, about my lifestyle and about the compromises I make...

The Vision & The Vow

I've spent the last week rushing to finish the 7th book in the Wheel of Time series so I could start and give my full attention to Pete's latest book The Vision & The Vow.  I've been anticipating reading this for probably about a year and getting hold of a copy has coincided with growing hunger for something more...

Sabbath

Had a mild panic attack yesterday when I worked out my work load for the coming months.  Pesky enthusiasm getting me involved in lots of projects, note to self, by a leash.  As I looked from my to do list to my inbox (of 150 emails) and back again a niggling voice in the back of my head started to holler "surely there's a better way!"

Jesus had a lot to do in the three years, he performed miracles and changed lives.  Sometimes he worked when everyone said he should stop and other times he moved away from needy crowds for time with his Father.  Sometimes I think that if Jesus had more than 3 years he may have burnt out, but, being the font of much wisdom I decided to get into bed at 10pm (oh yeah, I'm getting boring and old) and look at what the bible says about rhythm and rest...

Pilgrim's Process

I was writing in my journal as I jumped on the train Friday night.  It struck me that even though I have travelled a lot in the last two weeks, I haven't felt this relaxed or comfortable in who I am, and where I'm going in ages.  I'd anticipated returning from my travels frazzled, but oddly I feel refreshed and like I've had time to take stock of my life.

I feel like I've been on both a physical and spiritual journey.  The act of travelling away from my everyday life toward different cultures, old friends and new, gave me space to reflect, process and dream...

Mein Freund!

I feel like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders! This morning I gave my talk on Ezekiel 1 and reaching goals God´s way to a room full of Kings Kids leaders. I was pretty scared (actually that´s the understatement of the century). I got a chance to meet the lovely and very inspiring Trent Sheppard and he spoke (very well) last night. I was beginning to feel the pressure...

I could probably use few unladylike metaphors to adequately describe how terrified I was but I will refrain. After a slight cultural boo boo on my part (I was asked to change into a T-shirt that didn´t show any tummy - very nicely though!) things went well.

Markus, Jonah, Micha, Dorle and Trent were really encouraging and just before I stood to speak two KKers shared a picture they´d seen when praying for me; they saw my ear pressed against God´s heart and then lightning coming from my mouth. Rather encouraging, and rather like a picture God gave me a month ago that I had cheekily forgotten about.

Thank you to all of you who prayed. I was able to think and speak clearly regardless of my nerves and though some of it wasn´t quite as I wanted, I think I managed to communicate what was on my heart. Markus did a fantastic job of translating! I began my talk introducing myself in German... GCSEs come in handy after all; though I did accidentally introduce Markus as my boyfriend due to a slight gramatical error. Never mind. I´m sure it seemed romantic to everyone else though I was completely unaware and Markus looked a little embarrassed!

The last thing to do is share a few stories in tomorrow´s meeting and then it´s off to Cologne for the night before catching my flight to Seville Monday morning. Bring on that cafe con leche! Blogging has been a real God send since I´ve been away. I´ve been travelling for a week now but I feel like I´m in touch and have brought all of you with me. I really can´t tell you what your prayers, texts, comments and emails have meant to me. They´ve often come when I´m feeling my most nervous. I have felt very loved, thank you.

NB. I´ve had a song by Moneybrother going round in my head since I saw them Monday night. Can´t wait to teach you! All together now in a falcetto voice... "If you gotta problem... Don´t call the police!"

The best things in life are free...

Yesterday morning's Church meeting was about money. An excellent panel of professionals and theologians were assembled to answer our questions on debt management, investments and pensions. Bizarre you may think for a Sunday morning meeting but I loved it. It was real, every day issues tackled in a really positive way. Man I never thought there would be a bible verse about credit cards but Ruth Valerio pulled one out of the bag! (Well the verse isn't about cards specifically but a v closely related principle...)

When asked to define debt in todays society Robert Armstrong frankly stated that anyone who can't pay off a debt, credit card or loan by the end of this month has a debt problem... 80% of the room looked a little pale. Aren't these the kinda issues Jesus would talk about today?

I felt really challenged... my outgoings exceed my incomings each month and the little excess goes onto my credit card. I've been looking at redoing my budget to address this for a while but while I've dragged my heals my cerdit card has been building up... Yesterday morning I felt pretty challenged to sort it out. How are we free if we're in debt to others? Good question... As we were praying at the end I told God that I was gonna try to turn the situation around and could he give me wisdom. I thought I heard him reply (which is exciting all in itself) "I'll meet you half way."

I didn't really think more about it but at the end of the meeting a lovely couple who I admire massively gave me a cheque they said God had prompted them to write. The amount is half my credit card bill! Feeling pretty grateful and non to subtly kicked up the backside today. Thank you God...
xc