Amazed & Confused

Mein Freund!

I feel like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders! This morning I gave my talk on Ezekiel 1 and reaching goals God´s way to a room full of Kings Kids leaders. I was pretty scared (actually that´s the understatement of the century). I got a chance to meet the lovely and very inspiring Trent Sheppard and he spoke (very well) last night. I was beginning to feel the pressure...

I could probably use few unladylike metaphors to adequately describe how terrified I was but I will refrain. After a slight cultural boo boo on my part (I was asked to change into a T-shirt that didn´t show any tummy - very nicely though!) things went well.

Markus, Jonah, Micha, Dorle and Trent were really encouraging and just before I stood to speak two KKers shared a picture they´d seen when praying for me; they saw my ear pressed against God´s heart and then lightning coming from my mouth. Rather encouraging, and rather like a picture God gave me a month ago that I had cheekily forgotten about.

Thank you to all of you who prayed. I was able to think and speak clearly regardless of my nerves and though some of it wasn´t quite as I wanted, I think I managed to communicate what was on my heart. Markus did a fantastic job of translating! I began my talk introducing myself in German... GCSEs come in handy after all; though I did accidentally introduce Markus as my boyfriend due to a slight gramatical error. Never mind. I´m sure it seemed romantic to everyone else though I was completely unaware and Markus looked a little embarrassed!

The last thing to do is share a few stories in tomorrow´s meeting and then it´s off to Cologne for the night before catching my flight to Seville Monday morning. Bring on that cafe con leche! Blogging has been a real God send since I´ve been away. I´ve been travelling for a week now but I feel like I´m in touch and have brought all of you with me. I really can´t tell you what your prayers, texts, comments and emails have meant to me. They´ve often come when I´m feeling my most nervous. I have felt very loved, thank you.

NB. I´ve had a song by Moneybrother going round in my head since I saw them Monday night. Can´t wait to teach you! All together now in a falcetto voice... "If you gotta problem... Don´t call the police!"

Let your mess be yes...

Today was Herhurt day! Markus showed Jonah, Chase and I around the Library, Cemetary, Tower and Zini's place. (If you have no idea what I' talking about then you need to read Red Moon Rising and then you need to read the just released The Vision & The Vow - seriously!) It was pretty cool, not for any superspiritual reason, mainly because it was so normal. We saw kids go to school, dustmen collecting rubbish and Zini's house being rebuilt. It was pretty refreshing.

Even the Order of the Mustard Seed rings and medalions were displayed to us in an old chocolate box! Very surreal, very humble. I've been thinking a lot about vow and covenant, I've been nervous about making a commitment like that because I'm aware of my own weaknesses. I'm a very emotionally driven person, I would be nervous of making decisions and commitments led by hype. I also struggle with maintaining discipline; I'm worried that if I ever entered into a covenant with God then I'd fail before I even began. Guess He know's that already though...

Whiskey, whiskey everywhere...

What a fabulously exotic couple of days!!!
Jonah and I have decided that we're gonna go get pierced together this week but after an unsuccessful treck around Dresden we've postponed til Seville. Jonah needs a couple of whiskies down him before he'll sit calmly! (Only joshing!)

During our travels Chase Reeves (an American travelling Europe, who had been in Chi last week helping in the office) rings us from Dresden station saying he's come to visit. Very rock n roll. Say hi Chase... "Hi." Together with our new edition we retired to the local german/Russian restaurant and whiskey bar where we sampled some fine quisine and even finer Irish malt! The place was exactly what a whiskey bar should look like. V deshevled from the outside with a single red bulb illuminating the doorway and sand for flooring by the bar. I truly coulnd't make this up!

Take a bow...

I wanted to take a few minutes this morning just to write and say thank you to everyone who has prayed for me in the last few days. God's really been close to me and I've felt your prayers working!

I haven't slept this well in months and I feel really relaxed. Even though I've had a few early starts and lots of travel I'm inexplicably refreshed!

The talk I was worried about doing this weekend at the Kings Kids conference now sounds like lots of fun. Markus spoke to Norbert the organiser this morning and cleared up a few misscommunications and my talk brief. I'm beginning to suspect they may be a lot like 24-7 but their humour was lost in translation. I'm feeling a lot more relaxed about it now and taking some time to get stuck into talk prep today.

I appreciate all the prayers you've already prayed! If your chatting to God today please ask him to help me prepare for my talk. He's already turned this week into as good as a holiday, ain't he just wonderful like that?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I just watched eternal sunshine again, tucked up on Markus and Andrea's sofa... I cannot fault this film. Jim Carrey gives his best (and most contained) performance to date. If you haven't seen is you really need to; it's about love, reality, regret, consequences, pain and hope. Something different strikes me everytime I watch it. This evening the lines that struck me most were...

Clementine: "Joel, this is it. Soon this will be gone."
Joel: "I know"
Clementine: "What do we do?"
Joel: "Enjoy it..."

NB: Saw the most awesome gig last night... a Swedish group called Moneybrother! Will tell more when I have a spare moment. Off to bed now; night, night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite! zzz

Dresden calling!

Ok, much kudos to the wonderfully generous Ben McIntyre who turned up at my office on Friday to give me a wee going away present of an electric Spiderman toothbrush! I mean, how much cooler can you get? Spidey has now accompanied me to Plymouth, home to Grendon and now to the lovely Dresden! (See me and Spidey toothbrush left!)

I really like Dresden; it's different to the way I remember it from my last visit. It's light (sunny even!); a bustling friendly metropolis. I tried the smile-at-people-in-the-street test and the results were very positive!

Was pretty pooped when I got here so I had a siesta (in preperation for Seville!) I'm staying oposite a gorgeous gothic Lutheran Cathedral and Markus is already talking excitedly about all the trips he has planned for us over the next couple of days! Lots of laughs I feel!

NB: Had a great time with my family... Mum cooked the most delicious roast (I may not be a man, but the way to my heart has always been thru my stomach!) Lili entertained us with musical numbers from Anastasia, Abi talked excitedly about the enw series of Battlestar Gallactica (Darn it I wish I had Sky!) and my parents just sat back with bemused expressions of contentment as their children laughed until they felt sick! Love u all v much! VERY COOL PICS OF MY SIS AND BRO NOW IN MY FRIENDLY FACES ALBUM...

One down...

Thank you to everyone who prayed for me yesterday! I could really feel your prayers taking effect. The day in Plymouth went fine, and the trains could almost have been described as smooth! I was absolutely bricking it when it came to speaking at the evening meeting but the Steve guys and the lovely Doug Ross were on hand with grins and encouragement and it went pretty well: THANK YOU GOD!

I've really appreciated all your prayers, text messages, comments and emails. I feel really loved and supported! I will try to post throughout the coming couple of weeks to let you know how it's going, but if I'm a little quiet for a few days please forgive me.
Love to you all
xc

I'd appreciate your prayers!

Hi Guys, I've got a busy couple of weeks coming up ('what's new' I hear you cry - and you wouldn't be out of order.) I've been pretty busy for the last couple of months and quite predictably I'm pretty weary. The good news is the coming couple of weeks are fun busy and then after that I'm A LOT less busy for a whole month! Hurrah, I may even take a holiday!

I'd really apreciate your prayers for the coming weeks though, lots of travel and I'm speaking a couple of times. In my current weary state I'm really relying on God to get me through. So here's run down of my itinary and some stuff you can pray for...

Saturday 23rd October
I am speaking in Plymouth at a youth day called In:vision. The theme is 'identity' and I'm preparing a creative prayer workshop and then speaking in the evening on Esther. Being faithful to God and being ready to act... I'm really looking forward to it, please pray for...
***Sleep, I sleep really badly and usually get nervous nightmares before I do anything like this. I really don't want to have any tonight.
***Safe travel, I was hoping to travel with someone but unfortunately it seems the whole of Chichester is busy this weekend so I'm on my own. Really not ideal, but a few people I know will be there. I'm getting the train so please pray I make my connections.
***Hear God, I don't just want to turn up and rattle off an ok talk, I really want to hear from God, encourage and inspire these guys to pray.

Monday 25th - Thursday 28th October
I'm flying to Berlin and taking the train to Dresden to hang out with Markus, Andrea and Jonah for a few days. Really looking forward to it! Please pray for...

Bear necessities!

Just got back from London, ready and raring to go with 24-7's roud table report but made the fatal mistake of sifting through my emails first. Amateur error... I have now lost the will to live! In an attempt to reawaken my mind I thought I'd empty it of thoughts from this mornings AWESOME National Prayer Breakfast...

After getting up at 5.30am to get there on time Toggers and I were ready to up and leave when we weren't served a full English! The cheek of it! However this was the only dissapointment of the morning as we were sitting in Westminster Hall (Henry the 8th used to play tennis in there apparently - bit chilly - especially if your wearing a skirt!). The building is very beautiful and the whole breakfast was conducted with humility and sincerity... I guess I didn't really know what to expect but I was pleasantly surprised!

Toggers, who's a regular in Westminster these days, whispered as we walk in that there are references to God and the Christian foundations of this government in every room you walked into. It's like God had peppered himself throughout the building. It was much the same with the MP's. There were many there from all over the country, from every political party, and though they are a minority they are passionate about Jesus and seeing the UK revolutionised. One MP described them not as proud men but journey men in Christ...

Bear Grills was the most inspiring of the morning though. He spoke simply about his life, his ambitions and the simple passion of his faith. He really moved me (I actually creid - Toggers too, but don't tell him I told you!), he said...

"We're embarrassed when people say our faith is a crutch, it makes us sound weak, but I am weak. It makes us sound needy, but I do need it. I desperately need Jesus and I've learnt to be honest about that."

The MP that leads the Parlaimentary Christian Fellowship (PCF), Alistair Burt, spoke about prayer. He mentioned the 24-7 week that happened there over the summer and how that was gonna be the key to the coming year. He announced a year of prayer for parlaiment, for individual MP's and for God's Kingdom to be established in the UK. It was a real goosebump moment! Toggers and I just stared at each other pretty wide eyed. I think 2005 with 12 potential years of unbroken prayer, prayer in parlaiment, our 5th Brithday, a fresh Missions push and the national elections... shall be a very interesting year to be alive!

Mummy Wow, I'm a big wig now!

So much to say soooo little time!
As I have to be awake again in 5 hours I will rush through my day at stella speed! It's been rather glamorous I have to say!

***I met the lovely Carol for breakfast to chat about the way forward as my cell mutiplies/devides (delete as preferred) tomorrow night. Hurrah and Sob! V. exciting but also a little sad. Carol you're gonna make an amazing cell leader! I can feel it in my bones.

***After much packing and rushing for trains I ended up in the Shakespeare pub opposite Victoria having lunch with the lovely Siobhan and Chantelle (Uni friends for those who are unfamiliar - long live Chichester Dancers Class of 2002!) Girls I loved catching up!!! I always enjoy nattering Chan - I'm so glad that everythings going ok for you. Siobh - you are lovely! I smile thinking of you. Would you be willing to go on a date with on of my Chi friends? I think you'd be great together!!!

***At 4.30 the glowing Munchkin (aka little Kerry), Branca and Claire turned up for a drink. Girls I loved seeing you! It's been too long! Lets go clubbing when I'm back in London in November!

***NOW FOR THE GLAM BIT! At 5.30 I met Toggers beneath Big Ben dressed to the nines to go to a service and reception for the National Prayer Breakfast tomorrow IN THE HOUSES OF PARLAIMENT!

The Smog of Blog...

I've just finished a 2 hour online meeting with my favourite big bro types Freeman, Greig, Nico, Worthers and Bailey. We meet weekly as 24-7's International Team to catch up and chat all things international. We used to do it quarterly, face to face in a smelly board room. We inevitably got sick of the confinement and ended up in a local pub finishing the meeting over beers and food! They were always long meetings but I loved the comradary and this team has spawned some of my closest friendships in 24-7.

The weekly online meetings are an experiement in helping stay in touch as well as remaining effective now that the team is spread over 3 different countries. We've faced challenges with iscolation and learning to communicate online (believe me, it's a skill) but to be honest I'm finding it quite hard. We've gotten more efficient, which is great. We're tackling stuff as a team and ironing out the technical challenges but the bit that's missing is the beer and curry at the end. I find we hang up and I just feel a little insecure.

Technology helps, I mean I'm using this blog site to keep in touch with you, but can it ever really be more than a support to an existing community? 'New Media' (technology that can help us to link communties) is a buzz phrase in the emerging church debate at present (check out Andrew Jones' blog to find out more) but is a community that can only communicate online sustainable? Many emerging church thinkers blog, others have online church forums where their community interacts. Many of these things really help and can tie a disperate group to a common cyberlocality. Heck the 24-7 site aims to do just that with praying groups accross the globe. I'm all for using tools as they are presented but in my current experience I'm missing the coffee breath and contact that comes with being in the same room.

I'm thinking a lot about community, church, what it means to be a member, bring your contribution, love and be loved in return, and I guess some of my frustrations are emerging in those thoughts. I'm part of a fantastic community here in Chi, a real community that loves God and really cares about each other. I'm also part of I'm also part of 24-7 and the wonderful, diverse group of friends whom I hope I will share the rest of my life with. I'm part of my family and wider family community, and then there's my uni friends whom I'm still in touch with. When I think about my life, my church, the people I 'sneeze' on and allow to 'sneeze' on me, I think in overlapping circles. Some more crossed than others, but each diverse and inspiring.

I guess I'm going through a transition with my 24-7 friendships and facing new questions through Revs current membership drive. Neither bad, both just provoking me to think more about what I'm committed to and where my heart lies...

Who am I anyway?

I got an email today from someone who read the last 24-7 e-bullet I wrote asking who I was and why I didn't sign my name, only a rather ambiguous 24-7 at the end. This put me on a bit of an existential train of thought... who am I? What is the essence of Carla Trundle? Am I the sum of my experiences and decisions? Or is there something more to me than flesh, bone and some rather amusing stories?

In the spirit of the MTV generation I searched Google images for enlightenment. Interesting results, if your curious to my findings click here. I'm a little concerned it has to be said.
xc

Sunday Muddy Sunday!

What an awesome Sunday! Yesterday I had a lovely fry up with my gorgeous friend Josephine (I miss you chuck! Hope the scary teenager didn't harm you on your way home!) Jo is one of the few friends I know I will share the rest of my life with. She may live in Cardiff now but she's someone I would make any effort to stay in touch with. Josephine - thank you for the chat and pray, I love you lots x

After breakfast I met Sven, Smiles, Bex, Jon, Ben Thompson, Ben Mac and the imfamous Charlotte New for lunch and a leasurely stole by the Arun river. It was fantastic! Fresh air, beautiful scenery and lots of mud! The backside on the right is indeed mine! Sven (King of the Monkey Boys!) led us on climbs up hills, banks and trees. The most amusing moments were watching Charlotte scream Warrior Spirit at the top of her lungs whilst frantically scrambling 30 foot up a bank with few foot holds and watching Sven swing like Tarzan from tree to tree whilst every branch broke. It was part swinging part free falling!

After we had conquered both hill and tree we retired to the picturesque black rabbit pub and played Pontoon with some rather dubious Greek style cards! Bex and Charlotte chuckled as I looked shocked everytime I was dealt a hand. On the walk back down the river we tried the monkey walk 4 abreast and played bumper cars (also known as bashing into people to knock them into the river/nettles/another person...) The most memorable moment was when Bex stopped to admire the sun on the golden hills and a rainbow touching a field whilst Sven screamed "Enough beauty, more violence!" and crashed into Charlotte. Hehe!

The day ended for me with a facial, massage and foot soak with Anna Maria and Becky! I love you girls! Good company, relaxing treatment and red wine was the perfect end to a muddy day! Anna - it was lovely to catch up with you! Thank you for loving me and making me feel special. Becky - I'm really glad I got a chance to get to know you better last night. I think this will be the start of a beautiful friendship. To everyone else who cavorted in the autumn sunshine, bring on more Sunday's like this one!

123456!

I just went to the coolest party ever! I was snuggled up in bed, with the beautiful Smiles, watching "It's a wonderful life" (great film!) and Sven bursts into the house and declares that his car mileage is about to reach 123,456 miles and we must celebrate right now by all going to McDonalds!

How can you possibly refuse that? So we jumped out of bed, drove down to McD's and waited with baited breath for the meter to change... Unfortunately it didn't on the way there, but undettered we ate our Big Mac Meals (yes I know it's evil but it was Sven's party so blame him!) and plotted how to record the moment for posterity.

On the way home I was doubled up in histerics in the back as Sven tried to drive down the duel carriageway with Smiles leaning over him trying to get the best picture before the dial changed again. Ahhh only in Chichester...

That Friday feeling...

Blimey! What a packed but lovely day... Friday I adorned London with my presence and as always tried to cram in as many people as possible...

IAM5!
I turned up at 24-7's UK office and was promptly presented with a Barbie party bag by the wonderful Lucy Cooke! It had stationary, hair things, a bangle and some Barbie jelly beans! I mean what a way to start a meeting. Toggers, Becca and I then slopped away to Phil's fav itialian caf (that's not a mis-spell this place is like an italian greasy spoon but the clams in pasta are lovely!). We had a fab meeting sorting out the way forward with 24-7's 5th Birthday celebrations on February 12th 2005. It's gonna be awesome; pass the parcel, birthday cake, party bags and balloons. You can't tell me that doesn't excite you!

New Zealand
Met the lovely Linda Warwick for coffee and cake in Hammersmith as we dreamed and schemed about 24-7 in her home country of New Zealand. There's quite a little community springing up there with lots of rediculous links to each other. I may have to travel over some time in 2005 to check it out... It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. Linda - cheers for the chat, the olives and the musings on men! Always a pleasure never a chore... How was the play?

My gorgeous sister Lisa
Isn't the tube a marvelous thing? For £4.50 I was by St. Pauls, down in Hammersmith and up to North London (Southgate) within a matter of hours! Hurrah! I ended my busy day with my lovely sister whom I don't see often enough. I feel really lucky to have a sister I not only love but actually really like too. If we weren't sisters we'd still be close friends. I am a constant source of amusement for her (I make Spiderman masks and have 'I carried a watermelon' moments that keep her chuckling for months). Lisa and I had a great night, curled up in her duvet, into the wee hours of the morning talking about the things that really matter, and the kind of people we want to become. Lisa - I'm really glad I came, I love you alot and please come down to Chi soon so all the girls here can take you out and pamper you!

NB. I texted my Dad this week and asked him if he was a Spy. He's travelling around Embassies at present looking at disaster recovery and contingency planning. (If you know what that means then well done - pat yourself on the back.) It occured to me that it would be the perfect spy cover. He replied that of course he was, he wanted the names of all the people I've told because he's v sorry but he's going to have to kill them. I laughed out load on the train and got some dissaproving looks (honestly how can you dissaprove of laughing!?!) Then it occured to me... if I was a spy that's what I'd say! Hmmm how can you tell?

Skin deep...

I had a lovely night last night setting the world to rights over a G&T with some good friends in the Slug. We'd nipped out for a quick drink after watching Trinny & Suzannah on 'What not to Wear', completely compulsive viewing for every woman in Britain. For those of you unfamiliar with the programme it's a makeover show that teaches women 'the rules' to shop by and turns wall flowers and fashion disasters into chic, sophisticated women. They're rather good at it and we all love the ugly-duckling-come-swan element.

What struck me last night as I was watching it was the impact these women claimed the makeover had on their lives. It was a salvation from their scruffy, insecure ways into the confidence and pleasure of beauty and expensive aparrel. I raised this in the pub and we mulled over whether it was a good or bad thing... The whole concept is based on a values system that says your not beautiful unless to dress to your potential, your aim is to be as attractive as possible.

The transformation for last nights ladies was painful but impressive. They became assertive and confident, they felt free to express themselves creatively. They truly blossomed under the attention! The fabulously wonderful Bex proposed over her pint of (watery) Kronenberg that the physical effects the spiritual and emotonal as much as the spiritual and emotional effect the physical. Very true... I often reflect my mood and self esteem subconciously through the way I dress. On rotten days I adopt my trusty cap to hide beneath, on happy days I wear colourful pashmenas and scarfs. When I'm comfy it's jeans and T-shirts, uncomfy and it's extra makeup and more time fretting over the impossible paradox that is a wardrobe full of clothes with nothing to wear.

So can a makeover have a positive effect on ones character and self esteem in a consumor driven culture? How much is it just a temporary bandage over a festering wound? I'm not sure... I've been experimenting with not wearing make up this week. Drastic I know ladies... I've been single now for 9 months, within that period I've gone through varying degrees of insecurity about my appearance. Pretty normal I think, but I'm determined not to grade the way I feel about myself by superficial standards. If I learnt anything from my last relationship it's that you can try to talior make your external self to different situations, but if it's not working then you'll only end up exhausted and unsure who you really are any more...

Sven made a wise comment last night, he said "Makeovers and attractiveness can have a really positivie effect so long as they aren't necessary to your happiness." I don't want to be embarrassed about my face without make up. At the minute I kinda am. So I'm doing something about it. I'm going sans war paint, in winter. I want to get to the point where I can look at my face and smile. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from nuerotic about it, neither do I wear a tone of makeup usually, but I guess I'm a victim of the same subtle pressure lots of my friends feel each day when we face the world.

I love the line in The Vision that says "They wear cloths to celebrate and communicate but never to hide". A good balance to have I think. "Charm is decieving and beauty fades, but a woman who fears the Lord deserves to be praised." Proverbs 31:30 Just some thoughts I thought I'd share. xc

Counting the cost...

I was watching Spiderman 2 last night, lieing in bed wrapped in my duvet. Spiderman has been my favourite superhero (Superman and the X-men a close second) since childhood. He always seemed more normal than the rest (mutant Spider DNA aside). He made mistakes, he got angry, he fell in love and handled it badly, responsibilty weighed heavy on him and really messed with his head.

In Spidy 1 he disovered and enjoyed his new abilities and though he had to sacrifice his love for MJ in order to protect NYC, he did it with the confidence of an idealistic mind. I guess in many ways that's the stage I'm at in my life... (no I haven't been bitten by a radioactive spider - don't worry mum).

I love being part of 24-7 Prayer. I feel like part of the strangest global family ever gathered, full of genuine friendship and passion for Jesus. Full of people from the most unlikeliest walks of life. Being part of this community is a priviledge I never take for granted, so far the cost for me has been little...

Watching Spidy 2 last night I was thinking about how Peter Parker was living with the sacrifices he'd decided to make. He'd lost none of his idealism, but the reality of continueing to sacrifice daily had really worn on him. I won't ruin the film for those of you who haven't seen it, but the thing that weighs the heaviest on him is his iscolation. Parker makes sacrifices, saves people, enjoys his abilities but has no-one to share his defaets or victories with...

Some of my friends have things in their lives that bring them down; illness, money, relationship problems. Many seem to come to a head every time they step into something exciting and new in their lives. It frustrates me to see, I keep praying about it, one day God will change those situations.

***Just a minute! The Brighton guys have popped into the office! I'll finish my thoughts in a moment...*** One sausage and mash lunch later...

What inspires me most about these friends is their determination. "Life's s*** but, God's good" has been a mantra for a few. The difference between them and Parker (aside web shooters and the ability to climb walls)... they have friends, family, people to share the journey with. God and community help them tackle all life sends their way...

I don't know what life will send my way but I hope that I never fall into Parkers trap. I want to share my life with my friends. Lean on them and not be afraid to share my weakness and failure, and support each of them in their turn. To all who know me well, I love you dearly, here's to the future...

To Spook or not to Spook?

Hurrah! It has returned! The TV Series that inspired me to apply to become a Spy! (Long story, if you don't know it I'll tell you over coffee some time... See I do interesting and crazy things mwahahahahaa!) If you didn't catch it last night you missed out... fan-blinking-tastic.

Don't hate me for this, but I'm not a big Bond Fan. I've watched them all, everytime a new one is released I'll go because it's something of a cinematic spectacle. I don't really enjoy it though, it's a little too far fetched and patriarchal. Spooks (and the Jason Bourne series for that matter!) seem a little more close to what I imagine the truth to be. Sacrifice, pain, tough decisions.

Ok so if you think I'm caring too much about a TV programme you're probably right... and if any of you are secretly spies and are chuckling at my romantic notions then bravo! You've fooled me. It's a good job I didn't follow through on my MI5 training or you'd all have something to worry about...

The death of a Super Man

I wonder how many blogs will note this today... I was saddened to receive a text from Charlotte this morning telling me Christopher Reeve had died. The iconic Superman and an inspiring individual, it's amazing how many lives he touched. My friend Smiles emailed me and said...

"I can't believe it Superman is dead!!!!... Gutted. Don't quite believe it I was sure he was gonna walk again, he was a real life Superman over coming all his problems and proving doctors wrong. Strong in spirit but physically weak."

She v much echos my feeling... I could talk about the irony of the death in an invincible character, but I don't really want to. To me Christopher Reeve is a Hero for taking all life threw at him with dignity and positivity.

Happy Birthday to Emmy!

Happy Birthday to my beautiful friend Emmy who turned the respectable (yet young and exciting) age of 24 yesterday. Emmy honey, I had a lovely afternoon walk along the canal, I'm glad you liked you pressie! Claire babe, great to see you as always. It was a great surprise to walk into Emmy's and see you sitting there grinning...

I had a v grown up conversation with the girls about our lives, our futures and making a home for ourselves (can you believe it's been 2 years since we graduated!!!) It seems like life is whipping by but I'm glad I have great friends like you guys to share it with. Here's to your 25th year Em! May it be full of laughter and challenge...

The best things in life are free...

Yesterday morning's Church meeting was about money. An excellent panel of professionals and theologians were assembled to answer our questions on debt management, investments and pensions. Bizarre you may think for a Sunday morning meeting but I loved it. It was real, every day issues tackled in a really positive way. Man I never thought there would be a bible verse about credit cards but Ruth Valerio pulled one out of the bag! (Well the verse isn't about cards specifically but a v closely related principle...)

When asked to define debt in todays society Robert Armstrong frankly stated that anyone who can't pay off a debt, credit card or loan by the end of this month has a debt problem... 80% of the room looked a little pale. Aren't these the kinda issues Jesus would talk about today?

I felt really challenged... my outgoings exceed my incomings each month and the little excess goes onto my credit card. I've been looking at redoing my budget to address this for a while but while I've dragged my heals my cerdit card has been building up... Yesterday morning I felt pretty challenged to sort it out. How are we free if we're in debt to others? Good question... As we were praying at the end I told God that I was gonna try to turn the situation around and could he give me wisdom. I thought I heard him reply (which is exciting all in itself) "I'll meet you half way."

I didn't really think more about it but at the end of the meeting a lovely couple who I admire massively gave me a cheque they said God had prompted them to write. The amount is half my credit card bill! Feeling pretty grateful and non to subtly kicked up the backside today. Thank you God...
xc

The Blushing Bride...

Two weeks ago, in blustery Bicester, 9 hard core friends took one (slightly bedraggled looking) Marylin Monroe around the pubs and clubs of Oxford. A fabulous time was had by all and only the slightest wiff of tequilla was in the offing!

Yesterday a rather more galmorous Marylin - or I should say Melody - glidded down the isle into the arms of her now husband James. The last in a *long* line of weddings this year, it was a simple, heart felt and happy day.

I was leading worship so didn't actually eat (or breathe it seems) til after the ceremony, but Mel, it was our honour... You looked fabulous! Have an awesome honeymoon!

NB. I love the way my community (Revelation church) does weddings. It really brings out the extended family in us. Everyone mucks in to make the day as special as they can. I love that about Revs, it's something I hope we never lose...

Barcelona!

Oh how I love the... let me count the ways...
I've been home 4 days but I feel like I've only just left. The Round table is always the highlight of my year but Barcelona holds a fond place in my heart. I've nicked my fav pics from a few friends and I've made a gallery you can check out... unitl I can work out how to make it appear on the right click on http://carla247.typepad.com/photos/roundtable04/.

My favourite things were...
***God challenging me on my views on leadership, pace of life, what makes me worthy to be part of this fantastic family and how I listen to him. Being active when you feel weakest is a scary thing but thanks Dad for your patience.

***The amazing friends that I don't see often enough but love a lot! The glowing Emma Cowan, Ellen Armstrong (I can't wait to get to know you better babe!), Phil (I miss you) Baldwin, Peter Greig (thanks for the beer and your ear for an hour;), Jaime Bullock (I just want to hug you all the time!) (er - not in a scary way), Lynn and Jenny (Loved the late night girly chats!), Adam (Clarke Kent) Cox (see you in Kansas!), Marcus Lind (Can't tell you how much I love you and Mia), Krister and Reesa, Flo and Iris, Markus and Andrea (Can't wait to come to Dresden!), Carlos (few people can make me smile by entering a room) and many many more. If I keep going I'll miss someone...

***The honest moments I was able to share... Coxy chatting on the bus, Toggers walking by the stream, Charlotte, James, Tim and Kate sitting on the steps near the Olympic village, Carlotta in the girls toiletts (the best conversations always happen there! Bizarre!), Pete and I catching up over a beer and my favourite big bro types (hehe) Worthers, Stez, Freeman, Greig, Bailey and Nico on a bench in the sunshine...

***Listening (in awe) to Lyndall Bywater speak incredibly well on prayer and 'digging wells'.

***Tequilla before dinner with Coxy, Bullock and New

***Clubbing in Catwalk with the hardcore few - desperately trying to stay awake in my 8am meeting the next morning!

***Trying to explain the impact of Cornelia Parkers incredible installation "Cold Dark Matter" (http://www.tate.org.uk/colddarkmatter/) to Casey, Adam, Emma, Phil et al. Apparently when I say the word 'shed' the Americans among us thought I said something far ruder starting with Sh..

***Sneaking away for an hour to see the Sagrada Familia with Freeman... Awe inspiring!

Oh I could go on! No doubt things will strike me as I think and process more... I haven't even begun to try and formulate my thoughts on Church Planting yet... aaaaggghhhh! Ah well I'm sure I'll get there ;)

Love
Carla

Why am I doing this?

Good question...
I keep a journal most days of things that inspire or provoke me. It's an intensely personal book of hopes and dreams. What I don't do with that is pass it around to all the people I want to share my life with (a little too vulnerable me thinks). But... inspried by the ever whitty and interesting Toggers I would like to share my weekly musings with my friends and family in the interest of not feeling cut off from everyone here in Chi.

So I'm going to try. Part journal, part filling you all in on my life, I will endevour to blog... Hope I don't bore you all too much!

Love
Carla