I was writing in my journal as I jumped on the train Friday night. It struck me that even though I have travelled a lot in the last two weeks, I haven't felt this relaxed or comfortable in who I am, and where I'm going in ages. I'd anticipated returning from my travels frazzled, but oddly I feel refreshed and like I've had time to take stock of my life.
I feel like I've been on both a physical and spiritual journey. The act of travelling away from my everyday life toward different cultures, old friends and new, gave me space to reflect, process and dream...
I don't drive (not an environmental decision more a lazy and financial one) so I find that I have a lot of time to think when I'm travelling. I'm imfamous in Chi for walking everywhere (even at night - v naughty I know), walking has always helped me clear my head, my life is so full that often the journies I take by foot or train are the rare peaceful moments I have to let my mind wander as it pleases.
I cherish trips on the train as precious me, God and my journal moments. It's like the physical movement effects the inertia in my brain; I find rest in the single purpose of travelling as my head noise drops away and I let the sights and sounds of the places I pass through impact me. I find myself wondering, "How do I actually feel in this moment?" Do you ever have someone ask "How are you?" and you auto-respond "Fine" but when pushed you honestly don't know how you are. You're neither good nor bad because you haven't had time to stop and feel...
When I'm travelling I'm floored by sunsets, by children playing, by the glimmers of my amazing God in the world around me. I have loved the last two weeks for this reason. I have travelled by train, tube, tram, car, plane and my own two feet. I've travelled alone, with friends old and new, and with God. I have been to 6 different cities in 3 countries; I have been tired, nervous, sad, silly, happy, inspired, insecure and exhilerated; but mostly I've been thoughtful.
I am tired, I am physically weary, but I feel like I know who I am. I'm excited about the future again... I'm looking forward to the rest of my journey.