So what are your greatest fears? I like to know what mine are so that I can conquer them. The stubborn part of me hates being held back and locked up by them. I've had irrational fear of horses and escalators that I am very proud to have beaten in the last few years, and I have deeper fears that only emerge when provoked and are easier to hide...
Yesterday I wrote that I am afraid of failure. That would be an understatement. I think my fear of failure has motivated me to do some the worst things... I've lied to cover a mistake, I've passed the buck when something hasn't gone to plan and I've become driven at the expense of people in order to succeed. It's one of the things I want to change the most about myself. I guess that's where the learning to apologise thing came from.
Other great fears include the old classic, rejection. Not so much rejection in a vocational or social context but rejection from the people who know me best. When a previous relationship didn't work, the thought that someone could know me really well and then decide they didn't want me really smashed me. It took me a while to accept that if I gave into that fear I'd never take a risk and let someone close again.
I guess that moves into my third fear, disinterest from God. I always have a people pleasing weakness. I think it's the downside of loving people, if I care about them I care what they think of me. This manifests triple time with God. Sometimes I'm scared to listen to God not because I'm worried about being corrected but because I'm more nervous he's just not interested enough to talk to me. Completely untrue I know but who said fear was rational?
Smaller fears include...
*Being hated
*Being useless
*Being criticised in public
*Ok I'm still a little scared of spiders, breaking a bone or having my eye poked out...
So tell me, I've been vulnerable, your turn, what's your big fear? I've found breaking the secret of it really helps me to tackle it. I think the greatest danger in fear is isolation... So come on spill... xc