When I came on this retreat I found myself praying again and again, “Lord, I don’t want to get in the way of anything you’re doing.” Last night I took some time to tell my story and everything God’s done for me, it went well I think. Honesty generally goes down well…
I really don’t have anything humanly to bring to these guys. In many ways they are so similar to us, they’ve had the same conversations, the same ideas; we’re on a really similar journey. I really feel like God is jealous for their time so this morning I got out of his way.
I had planned to do a talk on Ezekiel 1 adapting some of the stuff I was exploring last year to talk about living a balanced life powered by our time with God, but as I started to speak I felt really strongly like I should shut up. The words and ideas melted from my head, they felt out of place and clumsy, and I felt half panicked half excited when I realised this was God taking me up on my offer and asking me to step aside.
It makes perfect sense really. We spend loads of time talking about prayer; how often, what about, creativity, intercession, identification, repentance, discipline, and break through. But all God really wanted this morning was some time and space to talk and be heard. I’ve just scrapped my talk and sent everyone away. They know it all anyway, most of us do. There really isn’t anything original a talk can bring. We don’t need more information for the mind; we need some inspiration for the heart. A one-on-one with God to hear what he thinks of our friendship.
I’m feeling pretty peaceful so I know I’ve done the right thing. Part of me (the one that worries about what people think of me) is slightly concerned that they might want their money back and think 24-7 is a bunch of charlatans. But I’m fairly sure I just learnt how to get out of God’s way and let him do the talking for a change. My vocal chords are taking a break. Xc