Transition seems to be a permanent word on my lips at the moment, I wonder if there's ever a time when things aren't changing. It feels like nearly every area of life is in flux; 24-7 Prayer, my role, my name, my independance, my home, my friendships, my church and my purpose... Hmm interesting list...
When I've blogged in the past about change, the transition has seemed unstable like I'm standing in the eye of a violent storm, this season feels different. My feet feel firmly planted as things swirl with more beauty than chaos, with purpose rather than violence.
I know what the difference is, the foundation is God and I'm pretty sure the glue is the Bible. Hmm maybe those preachers and teachers know a thing or two.
The thing I'm finding challenging in all the movement is that each area in flux has a string to my heart. Whether change is positive or inevitable each string is moving my heart in a different direction and it's painful and uncomfortable, especially when two things seem in opposition. I'm feeling challenged in how I define myself, how I measure worth, how much I question, and where my motivation comes from.
Something signifigant has been reviewing of my expectations of 24-7. There's a weird dynamic working for a movement tied so closely to my faith. Everything about 24-7s values resonate deeply with how I want to live as a Christian. This gives birth to an expectation to be able to live each of those values out in my working context. Slightly unreasonable.
I've felt really challenged that I look to 24-7 to propel me into the world and hand me the context to learn and be stretched on a silver platter. The more administrative and supportive my role has become the more dissatisfied I've felt. It took me a while to work out why. If I believe in living rhythms of prayer, mission and justice then I need to make space in all my contexts for them. I wonder if I'll ever stop learning? How far does this rabbit hole go?