I've sat at my keyboard for the last five minutes trying to decide how to express all the emotion and spectacle of Charlotte and Matt's Wedding Day. Charlotte is almost family and I've grown to love and respect Matt during the years of their courtship. The day was a stylistic, celebratory and organisational triumph, but that is only half the story...
Charlotte and Matt asked me to co-lead their Wedding service with one of our Church leaders Eloise. She is an awesome woman and my nerves were greatly eased by her competence and authority. They also asked me to give the address and though at the time I thought "Sure!" as the day approached my head noise sounded more like "oh my goodness... pressure!!!".
After days of mulling over the many directions a talk could take I finally hit on a message on the train journey back from Guildford and typed the whole thing in one sitting. With a little refining and a lot of constructive critism from my talented husband I was able to stand before their family and friends and expound on why I was proud to be here on their Wedding Day and what I consider to be their greatest strengths. I've copied my talk below, jokes and all as for me there is no more prepared of considered tribute to two of our dearest friends and why we are so happy they are married.
For those of you who aren't particularly interested then feel free to scroll down and click to enlarge the various photos I scattered throughout...
"I love Matt and Charlotte. I enjoy their company, I love who they are and I love who they’re becoming together. I am honoured to be standing with them on their Wedding day and I am so happy I’m pretty sure my mascara will be all down my cheeks before the day is out.
They’ve come a long way… Charlotte with her many hair creations (today is a triumph by the way), her ingenious outfits, often whipped together from bed linen. Her love of misappropriating words, her ability to raise the energy level of any party and her uncanny ability to know exactly what question to ask to get to the bottom of whatever’s bothering you. Matt with his quiet amusement, his many skills (electric skills, flooring skills, Spartan skills) his DJing and Break Dancing prowess, love of 360 with the boys and his steadfast and faithful friendship to many.
I asked a few friends for words that describe who Charlotte and Matt are to them. Here’s what they came up with…
Charlotte is sparkly, inspiring, creative,
Matt is steadfast, kind, thoughtful,
Charlotte is bold, hard working, a visionary,
Matt is diligent, patient, trustworthy,
Charlotte is Compassionate, enthusiastic and motivating
Matt is dedicated, quietly expressive, wise
Charlotte is full of Beans
Matt is full of Burgers
They were both described as fun, generous and faithful. One particularly eloquent friend described them like this:
Charlotte is 'a force of nature'! When she enters a room she changes the atmosphere. She's so many extremes in one body: loud - yip - but she can also be quiet, impulsive but sometimes pensive, girlie but tough as nails, image-conscious but spiritually alive, generous but thrifty, insightful but sometimes hilariously shallow, focused but scattered. But she is always loving and loyal and fun.
As for Matt, if Charlotte's a force of nature he's the eye of the storm. Everyone knows he's quiet and consistent, but he's also determined, entrepreneurial and creative, thoughtful and kind, practical and ridiculously skilled in so many areas. He's the guy who'd win Survivor by staying cool and keeping a low-profile, boycotting all the bitching and posturing and leading by quiet example.
Many of you are nodding in agreement. The fact that you’re here right now means you probably know and love Matt and Charlotte too, or, at the very least, you’re the arm candy of someone who shares my sentiments. They are easy people to care about and enjoy. I could add a few more adjectives to this long and flattering list. But, for me, there are three characteristics they share that have brought me to stand here and commend them today:
They love God
They love each other and
They love other people
When I say love I don’t just mean the romantic love it’s easy to appreciate on a day like today. I mean the fullness of love that the letter writer Paul described and Vicky read so excellently in 1 Corinthians 13
They Love God
If you know them well you probably know how important their faith is to them. Their personalities may differ but their passion for God is identical. They love God because he loved them first and they show their love for God by living in a way that pleases him. God showed His love for them through Jesus His Son. They know the incredible example of Jesus as He walked this earth as a man. He lived a radically different lifestyle and epitomised love by giving all He had, even His life so that Matthew and Charlotte could know Him 2000 years later.
They Love God, because He loves them
They Love Each Other
It’s pretty obvious that Matt and Charlotte are in Love; they have that silent language and understanding of each other. They are considerate, adventurous, each other’s greatest champion. When Matt woke Charlotte early and took her for a horse ride and asked her to be his wife it wasn’t because he couldn’t think what to get her for her Birthday. It was because they had walked through hard times and good times, and their commitment to each other only grew stronger.
Has anyone else noticed how they’ve subtly grown and changed over the course of their relationship? Charlotte is sometimes quiet. Matt sometimes eats vegetables. Seriously… It is obvious that your love has a foundation in deep friendship. I am confident that this friendship will continue to be a joy and strength for many years to come.
They Love Others
Matt and Charlotte have many friends; the capacity of the room today is testament to this. They love to share life and adventures. If I were to ask you what is your fondest memories of these two, what would it be? A road trip? A day sailing or horse riding? A night out dancing? Matt DJing? Charlotte going through your wardrobe? I’m sure many spring to mind: they are generous people with their time and energy.
When I considered this question I moved past the many speeding tickets, escapades on the dance floor and 24-7 photo shoots and was drawn to more private memories:
*Matt under our floor rebuilding our rafters when we’d asked him to help us lay some wood flooring. We would have been lost without him.
*Charlotte driving me to my parent’s home when my grandmother died in my first year of Uni; she barely knew me at the time.
There is a depth to Matt and Charlotte, inspired by Jesus that you could miss behind the noise, colour, activity and skills. There is a willingness to go the extra mile for whoever crosses their path.
Individually, Matt and Charlotte have come to love God, they’ve grown to love each other and they have lavishly and sacrificially loved the people in their lives. Now these two people are about to become one. They’re about to make vows before their family and friends and in the presence of God uniting them to each other for the rest of their lives.
I’ve only been married for six months and three days and I can confidently say it’s been the best half-year of my life. I too married my best friend, someone who shares my passion for God and love for people and after all the hustle and bustle of our big day died down I can honestly say the real fun began. The details of life together, learning to communicate well, discovering selfish areas and quirky habits that I can now work on and laugh at with someone else. I look forward to watching you build your home, forming your traditions and working out what you’re new family will be like.
Everything you’ve been doing in the last six months: seeking advice and mentoring, fighting to buy a home and preparing this lavish Wedding day has all been preparation for this point. Congrats! You’ve made it to the starting line. Now for the real race, a marathon that will last a lifetime. There will be highs, there will be lows and there will be a lot of normality. The best thing you can take forward with you is the verse you’ve chosen for us to read today…
Love. Love patiently, sacrificially and humbly with unending and unconditional forgiveness. A tall order unless you have someone to show you how.
You found Him separately; now make sure you keep God at the foundation of your future together. Read the Bible, his life giving word together. Pray, talk to him together. Include Him in every area of your life. Learn verses from His word that apply to all kinds of situations and rely on their truth. Make space for God and each other, don’t get too busy. Enjoy the community He’s given you in this Church, nurture the friendships that give you life and inspire your faith. Do these things and God’s love will be the fuel for both your friendships and your relationship together.
Be confident in what you’ve learned in the past. Be excited as you merge those two experiences together and look forward.
Keep Loving God
Keep Loving Each Other
Keep Loving Us, the people around you"
Yes, Charlotte wore a red dress she designed herself and looked absolutely stunning, Matt looked incredibly handsome in his three piece suit and all the work they'd put into the decoration (note Chinese theme) and celebration (Askillz was especially fantastic) contributed towards a very memorable day.
Now, Mr & Mrs Terris are relaxing and embarking on their first week of married life in the South of France. I can't wait until they return and we get a chance to meet the people they will become together. xc