This is probably the busiest week of my year. Saturday afternoon I begin my travels to Seville so the next five days are my last chance to iron out all the details of the 24-7 Round Table and Feast gatherings. I've gotten to the stage where the conference is invading my dreams, I'm waking up in the middle of the night remembering things I must do and I'm working hard not to give in to worry...
As Steve and I have been praying together God has been really gracious and at every stage has overcome my stress with peace. This morning as I woke with a fresh clutch of anxiety in my throat and stomach I got into the shower and thought,
"Lord, I want to be Mary in Martha's clothing. I can't escape the work I have to do, but I want to do it aware of Jesus' presence and with peace and prayer."
The Martha figure has been one that's haunted me throughout my life. I'm a natural doer so I've had many a warning with the dreaded M word thrown in to add weight. The thing is I think God made me a doer and then challenged me to find Jesus in the doing. I've had to force myself to build rhythms of prayer and bible study into my normal routine, to see the importance of time with God over the urgency of work, but ultimately I think the reason I really enjoy making other people's ideas a reality is because it's how I'm designed.
My walk with Jesus will always wrestle with balance, I'm fairly certain of that, but by the grace of God and the guidance of the Holy Spirit it's not as daunting as it once was. Normally this week all quiet time would be thrown out of the window as I hit the last minute details full speed ahead. This year I'm gonna try something different. Humanly speaking I may get less done, but inwardly I might achieve more... xc