Amazed & Confused

Fringes and Friends

Last night as we revealed the Krispy Kreme donuts I'd picked up in London and I looked at the glee on Itzi's face and the curiosity on Sun's I think I got a glimpse of what it's like to be a family.  I'm not saying I felt like a Mum, quite frankly that would be weird they're only a few years younger than me, but I do feel very protective of our ladies and love treating them after a hard day of important exams.  We are very fortunate to have such lovely lodgers and I keep throwing up prayers that they do as well as they hope in their English assessments.

The last week has been full of moments like these.  It's not been a particularly notable string of days... work, more work, singing, eating, laughing, catching films, more eating this time with friends, work, praying, thinking, praying some more, reading the Bible, wondering if I'll ever know even more than half of what there is to know about God, learning a few surprising things about myself, work, interrupted sleep, reading Inkheart for a little mental rest and siestas... Really it's been pretty uneventful but small things, tiny pleasures and miniscule pains, have peppered the days and nights.  Mostly, they've simply reminded me to be grateful.  Even the interrupted sleep - I definitely still getting more than Ruthy and Kirsten who are nursing new borns :)  Steve and I have so much.  I don't want to forget it.  

In the last year I've started keeping lists in my journal of things I'm hoping and praying for; a friend to be healed, another to know how much Jesus loves them, provision for this or that, my leaders, my community, my husband and his business... important things, big and small that I've asked God to intervene in.  Many things on the many list have had some sort of movement or conclusion and there are days I've had to remind myself to fill the pages of my journal with as many notes on the blessings and answers than all the new needs I can think of.  Though I'm not as good at remembering to write those down, I think gratitude might be the key to my contentment...

So today I am thankful for my new fringe, my household and how well we all live together, that I can learn something new each day, that I get to be part of 24-7 Prayer and that soon I'll be taking off to Amsterdam to see some good friends... xc

An Opulent Sensory Overload

This weekend has been an assault on the senses... light, colour, curry, bangra, dancing, tight hugs, wide smiles, exclamations of joy and moments of touching beauty.  Steve, the Trundle clan and I flew to Northern Ireland to celebrate the Wedding of our old friend Pawan to the breathtaking Naomi.  Though technically this is the second Hindu wedding I've witnessed, the first was so long ago my memory of it somewhat resembles the list above.  Our weekend in Belfast was a cornucopia of colour, symbolism and promise with a rather challenging priority and honour given to the whole family, maybe especially grandparents.  It was interesting to watch as two people made life long vows to each other in such a different way to Steve and I...

I did find it strange however that Pawan is a grown man!  In my mind he is perpetually the eight year old I used to hang out with and his Mum, Indu, is the woman who introduced me to curry and spicy chips.  The Bedi Wedding was simultaneously a trip down memory lane and an eyeopening reminder that the road goes ever on and on (in the words of a hairy footed, small bloke).  For Pawan and Naomi I pray that God blesses them even more than He has blessed us and I hope that our paths cross again without the excuse of nuptials in future.

Remain in Me

I spent a lot of this summer thinking about three words from John 15... "Remain in Me"  I prayed about them, read a commentary about how, when and why Jesus said them and I found other references to similar sentiments in other parts of God's story.  Last Sunday, after spending what felt like days pulling all that together, I spoke to Revs about Jesus' invitation and the 40 day season of prayer and fasting we're walking into.  I talked a lot about our purpose, what distinguishes the people of God and His life and desire for us. 

I feel like I'm constantly on a journey of working out how I RSVP to His invitation in my daily life.  I've learned and enjoyed a lot in prayer since my first foray into a 24-7 Prayer Room ten years ago pretty much to the week.  Still I know this is a connection I'll always be exploring in new ways.  I love an infinite and eternal God... could I ever plumb the depths or exhaust the ways in which I could speak to Him in one human lifetime?   

I am really looking forward to Revelation's 40 days of prayer and fasting... wow I never thought I'd write a sentence like that.  Fasting is necessary and useful but enjoyable I think not, not for me anyway. And yet I feel an anticipation about this special period we're doing together as one big extended family.  What will I learn?  How will we 'remain'?  What does God have up His sleeve? Who know's, let's find out...

If you're interested you can listen to my talk from last Sunday here.

Family Fortunate

I do not underestimate how fortunate I am to have such a wonderful, loving family.  My parents are still married and still in love (no mean feet in this day and age) after twenty nine years of marriage and most encouragingly they still have a sense of humour and seem to really enjoy each other's company.  They teach me a lot about being a wife and the kind of reward investing in each other brings.  Home has always been a place of security, rest and never in my 28 years (yes I was pretty much a honeymoon baby) doubted that I am loved.  I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging... I'm just really grateful.  The older I get, the more of the world I see, the more precious my family home seems.  

I'm pretty fortunate on the sibling front too.  I have a gorgeous brother and a wonderful sister who I would love and want as my close friends even if I wasn't blessed to share genetics with them.  They have the ability to make me laugh until I cry with an enthusiastically told story and exaggerated gesticulations.  

It's interesting... I've just finished 1Timothy and I'm thinking about contentment.  How do we master the ability to keep want and need in perspective, to live in perpetual gratitude and appreciate exactly what we have.  I think my family teaches me this.  We are very blessed to have each other but it's not been all plain sailing in our family story.  There have been difficult times, especially for my parents, but something has always given them/us strength and a way through.  God is a massive part of that... I think the faithfulness my parents have taught each of us is a big part of it too...  I don't really have a cohesive end to this thought.  Just wanted to share my thanks prompted by my visit home this weekend.  I absolutely loved seeing Mum, Dad and Adam.  I missed Lisa though I'm excited to hear how her weekend in New York went.  I hope in the decades to come that I'm able to provide the kind of home for our children that Mum and Dad did for us. xc

Education, That's What You Need...

It's been seven years since I graduated from formal education.  That shocks me. How can it have been so long since I dressed in that ridiculous robe and strode onto the Chichester Festival Theatre stage for my graduation?  It feels unlikely but when I count the years the truth is plain.  I'm older than I think.  I've gained 28 years of life experience now and even though I've spent the best part of the last decade in full time employment I can't shake the academic rhythm to my year...

September always feels like a new beginning.

This September is no exception.  I had a different summer.  I spent a lot of it alone.  Steve did his usual stint at the weird and wonderful Soul Survivor, Tuti finished her time here in Chichester and Itzi took some holiday to visit her family.  I'm not a fan of solitude, but this year I enjoyed my quiet summer more than I anticipated.

I've been doing some study about what the Bible says about my being of the female persuasion and yet being a speaker in my Church community.   In fact studying the art of preaching and teaching has been my focus in general: I'm munching through the book of 1 Timothy and meeting with a few friends to listen to an audio series by John Ortberg about the skills and character of a teacher.  It's quite challenging.  I've always found the words of James intimidating "Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly."  Now I'm adding a few frightening one liners from Ortberg himself.  All very sobering, expecially in the light that my next talk is this Sunday.  Revelation is about to embark on 40 days of prayer and fasting as a community and this week we're gonna ruminate on John 15 and the challenge of remaining.  

All this thought and study flows quite nicely into the new term and the slow creep of autumn.  I have a lot of study to go, much to learn...