Amazed & Confused

Happy Birthday to Me

Today I turn the grand old age if 29... and I have to say, so far so fantastic. The last few weeks have been insane (hence the blog silence) with every spare moment not spent on Magnify (24-7's Int'l gathering - less than a month away!), or The DeLoreans, or saying goodbye to the first of our two house mates has been devoted to preparing four (yes four) talks I'm giving at really cool looking mission school in Glasgow in the next two days. It's a new challenge for me as I've yet to prepare and give that many talks in such a short space of time but (now I'm prepared) I'm really looking forward to it. 

So, 29! Last year of my 20s which several people on FaceBook feel it's important to point out. Doesn't freak me out. I've had an amazing nine years, few regrets and an exciting present. I was walking across a Tesco car park last night when it struck me how much I have to be grateful for. I'll blog more about my thoughts on the last year in particular later this week. (Been interesting to finish a journal so close to a Birthday, reading through the last six months of writing I realised there's a lot that's developed) I'm writing this on my iPhone, sitting in my lounge feeling content after a pastry breakfast and a picnic lunch in the Cathedral cloisters all spent on the company of my lovely husband. Steve usually works at festivals during August, I think this is the first time we've both been at home on my B'day since we started dating! It's bliss. A chilled out Oasis in what has been a very full time.

The day I dusted off my recorder

 

Yep... I actually did it. After blogging last week about my lack of cool I took any shred I potentially had and crushed it at yesterday's Revelation Church gathering.  All in the name of making something memorable :)

For the last four weeks our church community has been looking at the Old Testament book of Esther and I have to say it's been an excellent series. Each week Ellie, Ben and Dan have delivered something that has stayed with me.  Be it a question like, 'what am I being prepared for? Or a statement like, 'God is not the architect of our suffering but the redeemer of it.'  Through to the challenge of, 'practicing the art of patience'. I had the pleasure of finishing off our journey through the book yesterday, covering the last five chapters in 20 minutes (Eeek!). It was a challenge but I thoroughly enjoyed studying for this one and have rarely felt like I had such a clear idea of what I wanted to say... well by Saturday I did anyway...  

As I sat with all my study notes before me on Friday night I felt a little overwhelmed.  Five chapters!  There was so much!  What one thing could I possibly base my talk around?  So I asked God what he thought and the memory that immediately popped into my head made me laugh out loud.  My parents became Christians when I was 7ish so I was around church young enough to have grown up with many of the classic scripture songs.  From a young age I took up the recorder (descant, treble and tennor - I was keen - story of my life) and the moment that was crystal clear in my mind Friday night was myself, clumsily working out how to play 'Seek Ye First' on my treble. I jumped up to grab my treble - yes I still own it though I rarely play it now - and with fumbling fingers realised I still remembered it.  As I stuttered through the notes the lyrics (lifted from Matthew 6:33) were following along in my mind...

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness. 
 And all these things will be added onto you aa-alelu-alelu-jah."

After my laughter subsided I pretty much wrote my talk in one draft.  What can we take from the examples of Mordecai, Esther, Xerxes and Haman?  Seek to build your own Kingdom and one day it will crumble.  Seek to build God's and God will take care of the rest.  After a few re-drafts to tighten it up (I am a serial talk editor - can't stop, even as I'm waiting to go on) I gave my talk resplendent with musical accompaniment yesterday morning; yes I looked stupid, but everyone's gonna remember which verse I was talking about.  The recording went up on the Revs site this morning.  You can download it here.

 

The Concept of Cool

 

I am not cool.  I never have been.  In fact for much of my life if you were to look up 'cool' in a dictionary it would be defined as the opposite of me.  In recent years I have become slightly less uncool, (particularly with the rise of geek chic and there's something about singing in a band that makes people who normally overlook you want to talk to you) but you don't have to delve far beneath the surface to realise that I am enthusiastic, positive, likable even, but definitely not cool.

This does not bother me any more.  When I was a wee lass cool seemed like everything.  It was the way to measure worth, the way to show you belonged but no matter how hard I tried I never looked right in the clothes, my quiff was never precise enough or my sporting capacity co-ordinated enough.  I learned to embrace what I am instead... alright.  

I like me.  God made me, so who am I to criticise.  Yes, I read fantasy.  It's true, I love science fiction.  I think that making dresses out of cartoon bedsheets sounds like a brilliant idea.  I would rather stay in with a few good friends for a good meal these days than go out to the pub on a Friday night and... I'm a Christian (which lets face it is not cool - pretty much every other faith kicks our but in the cool stakes... Good job cool is not what I was looking for from Jesus ;). 

When I gave up on the concept of cool though a funny thing happened.  I made more friends and I'm pretty sure I'm happier.  I have nothing against the concept of cool. I have many deeply cool friends and they are lovely people.  Cool is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong it's just this intangible concept that is often pursued but rarely grasped. I am happy to co-exist in the same universe as it but no longer hear it's tempting song.  That's it. That's all I have to say on the subject.  Stream of consciousness over.  xc

YouTube brings out the extravert in me...

YouTube definitely brings out the extravert in me :)  I have to say I was reluctant about being one of the many faces on 24-7 Prayer's YouTube Channel when I first set it up but mostly it's been lots of fun.  I'm getting pretty nifty with iMovie HD and for once my overactive gesticulations and facial twitches work in my favour... I think.

Above is my latest creation and it's a video challenge to one and all.  Grab your video cameras - 24-7 Prayer needs you!

2010 is the tenth Birthday of the 24-7 Prayer community; yes people that's over 3,650 days or 87,660 hours of non-stop prayer... that's a lot of talking to God.  As part of a year of celebrations I've been working away to organise a big international get together called Magnify (aka my life until the 19th September).  Despite many emails, plans and budgets I am REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!  I always love the mixture of the serious and the silly at 24-7 gatherings.  There's always the profound stuff like when we pray together, or someone teaches on something that really sticks or God speaks.  Then there's the ridiculous stuff that I laugh about for years to come like the competition/auction that raises ridiculous amounts of cash to bless a random person in need or crazy little video projects like this.   So I'm actually quite excited about the responses to today's vid.  

When we did something similar for IAM10 (24-7 UK's birthday celebration) the submissions were numerous and amazing (check some of them out in the vid above).  I look forward to see what the world offers up for this expansion of that earlier birthday greeting challenge. xc

The Phantom Intercessor

For some time now Scot Bower and I have been chewing around the idea of a generic identity that can be used to author any article on the 24-7 Prayer website where the real author needed anonymity.  We wracked our brains for how we could do it.  Do you go for someone who sounds like a real person?  (Hmm that felt like lying) Or do we go down the this-is-obviously-and-entirely-fictional route?  We chose the latter (cause it seemed like more fun) and began the debate what to call him at a recent editorial meeting in Scot's back garden... Prayer Ninja was a front runner until Scot hit on a classic...

It was with great pleasure today that I noticed that 'The Phantom Intercessor' made his debut appearance on the website.  I had to laugh at the biography Scot had come up with for him...

"The Phantom Intercessor has dedicated his life to battling for Prayer, Mission and Justice on Planet Earth. This caped wonder is rarely seen, appearing at prayer meetings only when all eyes are closed. His utility belt is packed with razor sharp tracts, Holy Water and a Jesus Loves Ibiza bible. He can leap lego buildings and takes the stairs 2 at a time. The Intercessor has all the gifts of the Spirit including the much misunderstood Old Testament power to 'Smite'... Such is his saintly nature that he is yet to use this gift on anything other than wasps and the occasional rabbit. In all seriousness 'The Phantom Intercessor' is a fictional writer employed for articles where the writer needs to remain anonymous."

Long live The Phantom Intercessor!  

PS - The above photo has nothing to do with the PI but when I went looking for a photo of someone in disguise I found it and it made me laugh.  We all need something ridiculous to brighten a Monday morning.

Taking the 24-7 tribes for a walk

I took a little walk around my neighbourhood yesterday afternoon when my brain went to mush and I couldn't make another spreadsheet or write another email if my life depended on it.  Rather bizarrely I took my MacBook with me.  The above video was filmed with my laptop open and carried in front of my face; thank you God for iMovie HD.   I got a few odd looks from our neighbours (sorry Steve) but I wanted to spice up 24-7s weekly video round ups.  I've tried varying my hair styles, changing location, having a few friends say hello... the only thing I could think of doing in a matter of minutes was to go for a little walk.  So here it is... this week's Rewind video from the tribe/charity/community I'm part of called 24-7 Prayer.  Click to hear about the latest news, videos of Chilean Prayer Rooms and how you can pray for Pakistan. xc

Architect... Redeemer...

 

Suffering...  It's one thing to intellectually theorise and grapple with how suffering co-exists with a loving and good God (something not to be sniffed at and very much engaged in)... but it's quite a different thing to make sense of the heart when unjustified, unexpected, undeserved pain is your reality.  Honestly, I can at times feel distant from suffering, from grief.  I've experienced some... but nothing like the dark hours I've seen others live through.  When I think about God and pain and injustice and illness and death, it hits hard on one level but skims the surface on many others.  I know that for people I love, concepts that are abstractions to me, feel very tangible and personal to them.

This week a few friends are going through an unimaginably painful time and my heart breaks when I contemplate the path they've found themselves on.  (Reading back what I've just written I realise that it applies to more than more than one situation, more than one set of friends!)  I am but a companion, a pray-er, a member of their community... but as they face loss, the ripples of their suffering are touching our little church.

I find it frustrating that there's nothing I can do.  There's no practical help I can give.  I can only pray. I know that's no small thing, but it's tough to face my powerlessness.

On Sunday Ben took us through the next chapter in our series on the Old Testament book of Esther.  As he set the scene for all he was about to share he humbly said (and I paraphrase)... "If you remember or understand nothing else of what I say this morning remember this, 'God is not the architect of our suffering, but He is the redeemer of it.'"  That one little sentence has sparked many conversations throughout this week and it's brought hope to my heart when I've spoken to God about four dear friends.  I don't know the answer to 'Why?', there is no practical response to, 'What can I do?' but I know I can ask God, 'How will you redeem?'.  I trust that somehow... even in ways I don't see... He will...  Please God. xc

Ooo a new blog to read - Standing on the Shoulders

 

A little birdy sent me a link to a brand spanking new blog that's quietly making it's way into the blogoshere this week.  'Standing on the Shoulders' is a blog collaboration written by two lasses as they walk through life together.  The kinds of things they plan to discuss definitely excite me (I was chewing over just these topics with my lovely friend and mentor Ellie as we drove to a gathering of ladies last night). I'll let 'J' explain...

"This morning TR and I were chatting over coffee and finding some way of recording our conversations around speaking/teaching, mentoring, discipling, learning, growing and women in the church came up.  This blog is a result of that."

I used to read a blog collaboration between three women exploring similar ideas until (like lots of cyber homes) it was left dormant earlier this year.  I look forward to seeing what emerges from this new place of thought, story and question.  If you're interested in that sort of thing check it out.

Finding 'Standing on the Shoulders' did make me think that there are probably loads of interesting blogs out there that I'm simply unaware of.  Anyone have any recommendations?

Wardy bought a rock!

Commiserations ladies... Mr Pete Ward is off the market and heading down the aisle.  Yes that's right the world renowned Wardy - the rock on which the organisational side of 24-7 Prayer stands - is getting hitched to a rather beautiful lady called Andrea.  As is fitting to such an occasion he's bought her quite the stunning rock.  Check it out and read more on his blog. I couldn't be happier for my lovely friend and colleague and it's quite fun talking Weddings with a guy!  As I would have guessed they are already crazily prepared. I predict that this Wedding will be planned down to the finest detail and executed with military precision.