This August my buzz word is 'presence'. It's been on my mind. I forget about it for a few days, maybe even a week, then something I read, pray or hear sparks the thread of 'present' thought back to life... Usually when such words and ideas persist like this it's a good idea for me to pay attention; I may be about to learn something...
It's amazing how a word evolves in our understanding and association. For years of my life, to be present was to be in attendance at school,
"Carla Trundle"
"Present Miss"
It's also true that those seven little letters have represented gifts given and received. In the last decade however the word presence has become inextricably linked in my mind with God and prayer. It's not a new idea, (in fact it's as ancient as Eden) but I know it's key to greater quality in my relationship with Jesus...
We all have our little mantras, personal and informal liturgies that pepper our prayer lives. A recent but persistent addition to my prayer vocabulary has been,
"Lord, make your presence felt."
I've prayed it over my own life as well as over people, places and situations. I quite deliberately used this line to replace my prayer of "Come, Lord." For no other reason than it struck me that He's already here; He's already everywhere. It's not His presence we're lacking, but an awareness of it.
This idea grew. I thought about it... then prayed it... then thought about it some more. Now I'm realising that my prayer mantra may be evolving again... I still want God to make His presence known, but I'm wondering if in most circumstances I'm approaching presence from the wrong direction. A few weeks ago I found myself scribbling this prayer in my journal...
"Help me to live present to you."
I stared at those words... then I went over and over them in pen until they jumped out amid a page of scribbled prayers. It felt like a break through, an epiphany. Something I've always known but needed to recognise. I thought back to the times in my 20s when God has felt distant and for most of them I realised that it wasn't His presence but mine that was the challenge...
Today I'm thinking about distraction, and wakefulness, and awareness. How do I remain in attendance to God? How do I give myself as a gift to the gift maker?
I guess it's what Brother Lawrence was getting at all those years ago, but I had to rearrange His sentence, His sentiment, the title of His writings to really get what he did. Anyone got any ideas or tried any similar prayer experiments? How do we remain present to God?